Gordon Haber

Writer, editor, mediocre guitarist

Month: September, 2014

Aliens Give a Press Conference to Respond to Theological Allegations of Pastor Ken Ham

You see, the Bible makes it clear that Adam’s sin affected the whole universe. This means that any aliens would also be affected by Adam’s sin, but because they are not Adam’s descendants, they can’t have salvation. —Ken Ham Thanks everybody for coming. I really appreciate it. It’s been a long trip to get here […]


Fortune 500 co. seeks blogger with in-depth knowledge of health care industry. 50¢ a post! Great exposure! Hot new online mag seeks celebrity news writer for 700 years of experience. Please send 3 clips & 1 kidney (someone else’s OK) to Staceeee1@celebnow.com. Alaskan Tundra Magazine, Alaska’s premier magazine on the all things tundra, seeks features […]

Fancy Degrees and Food Stamps

Here’s a nice piece on Salon.com by the great Matt Saccaro on adjuncts struggling to make a living—to the point where they depend on food stamps. Although I never resorted to food stamps, I was certainly eligible for them, there were plenty of times when I came pretty damn close.  

Brave Defenders of the First Amendment

Donald Sterling: “I don’t want black people at Clippers games.” Everyone: “MAKE HIM SELL HIS BUSINESS!” Salaita: “Jews love killing babies.” Everyone: “FREE SPEECH!”

Hey College Professors: Stop Complaining (Says Smug College Professor)

Today in obnoxious bullshit about higher ed: a variant on the “let’s criticize teachers for their rhetoric instead of discussing the real problems” trend piece, or what we might call “a trend piece about other trend pieces designed to highlight the author’s superiority that instead evinces his own douchiness.” This one is by Daniel Nester, […]

An Open Letter to Education Reporters

Dear Education Reporters: Please stop writing dumb things about education, because every time you do, I feel compelled to blog about it. And nobody pays me for blogging, which means that every time you write something dumb about education, you take food from my child’s mouth. And you really need to stop conflating crowdsourcing with […]


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