Gordon Haber

Nothing but Moleskines would do. Photo: Bundesarchiv, Bild 183-R80329

[NB: I was hunting around for blog topics when I came across the Tweak Your Biz Title Generator. I entered “writing” and “Joseph’s Stalin’s Secret Guide To Writing” came up.]

1. The Soviet Union needs a Great Purge — of adverbs!
2. Eliminate the passive voice as if it were the kulaks.
3. If you want to be a writer there are two things you have to do: read a lot and collectivize the farms.
4. Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, send them to the gulag.
5. Nothing happens overnight. Create a Five-Year Plan that will result in (a) a significant increase in industrial output and (b) a solid draft of a novel. (Or a novella and stories.)
6. If ever someday a machine is invented that can connect with other machines to send messages or retrieve information or share pictures of cats, it will be very distracting, so don’t use that machine for writing.
7. Kill your darlings. And Trotsky.