My 2027 NEA Creative Writing Fellowship Project Summary

by Gordon Haber

Morgan Twofeather marries Grace Delgado-Delgado while George Soros looks on. Artist’s rendering courtesy Google Gemini

The NEA has cancelled the 2026 Creative Writing Fellowships program. […] The NEA will now prioritize projects that elevate the Nation’s HBCUs and Hispanic Serving Institutions, celebrate the 250th anniversary of American independence, foster AI competency, empower houses of worship to serve communities, assist with disaster recovery, foster skilled trade jobs, make America healthy again, support the military and veterans, support Tribal communities, make the District of Columbia safe and beautiful, and support the economic development of Asian American communities.

— from an August 22nd email from the National Endowment for the Arts

Dear Committee:

For the 2027 Creative Writing Fellowship, I am seeking funding to write WOKE NO MORE: WHEN THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS BLOSSOM, a feature film script that reflects this Administration’s support for artistic excellence, critical thinking and nuance. It’s the story of Morgan Twofeather, a member of the Potawatomi Nation or something, and Grace Delgado-Delgado, the daughter of a Cuban father and a Puerto Rican mother, both of whom have succeeded at things they would not have been able to succeed at in the places they came from. 

Morgan and Grace meet at Howard University, where he is learning to weld, and she majors in Gender Studies. When a Christ-hating professor rebukes Morgan for his faith in a lecture hall filled with woke Christ-haters, Grace comes to his defense, because even though she believes there’s no such thing as gender, she also thinks Morgan is hot.

But Morgan has competition from Benjamin Morganthal-Schwartz-Cohen, the offspring of a trans Jewish throuple. Benjamin works for the Soros Foundation, developing plans to force all Asian restaurants in the Capitol to close so he can build mosques. Grace is at first charmed by Benjamin’s East-Coast elite values, until his friends sneer at her for suggesting that Curtis Yarvin makes a few interesting points. 

When a freak hurricane caused by wind turbines devastates D.C., Benjamin sees his chance, rallying wealthy patrons from his synagogue, Temple Beth Marx, to hurt Asian-Americans with wokeness. Morgan, however, has been teaching welding to his multi-ethnic church youth group, which includes several grizzled veterans, and they save businesses and buildings with their welding, and Grace sees this and is psyched. 

Will the Jews Benjamin be thwarted in his nefarious plans? Will Morgan and Grace date and definitely not have sex before marriage? Will Grace abandon Gender Studies to make a kajillion dollars doing something with Christian AI? Yes, yes, and yes. 

The final shot of the movie is their glorious marriage on July 4th, 2026—America’s 250th birthday—as the cherry blossoms shower their petals and a Marine Band plays I’m Proud to be an American or maybe YMCA, while George Soros looks angry in the background, twirling his mustaches. 

Thank you for taking the time to consider my project. All NEA funding will go to American performers and craftsmen in the United States of America, and not a penny to Canada, where the tax incentives are better for filmmakers.