by Gordon Haber

  • Fortune 500 co. seeks blogger with in-depth knowledge of health care industry. 50ยข a post! Great exposure!
  • Hot new online mag seeks celebrity news writer for 700 years of experience. Please send 3 clips & 1 kidney (someone else’s OK) to Staceeee1@celebnow.com.
  • Alaskan Tundra Magazine, Alaska’s premier magazine on the all things tundra, seeks features writer with glossy experience and a passion for all things tundra. You will be paid in used camping gear.
  • National newspaper seeks seasoned journalist to stand naked to the elements for 6 weeks without food or water. Great exposure!
  • UK newspaper with strong online presence needs good writers to plagiarize pieces from other news outlets that have already gone viral. We pay 8 oz of chicken feed per post.
  • I need rilly good writter to help me with $1 billion dollar idea you get half of royaltees when we get super amazing book deel
  • Venerable magazine seeks longform writers for quality investigative journalism; we pay $3 per word plus all expenses. KIDDING!
  • Slippery Elm Review: A Sensitive Literary Journal seeks fiction and poetry for our upcoming vernal equinox issue. $7000 reading fee.